Santa Banta Jokes

Pappu returns from school and says he got an 'F' in Maths. 'Why?' asks his father?

The teacher asked, "How much is 2x3 and I said 6, replies Pappu.
Santa: But that's right!
Yeah, but then she asked me, "How much is 3x2?", adds Pappu.
"What's the f**king difference?" asks Santa.
Pappu: That's what I said!

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Banta: As soon as women see me, they want to get in shape to impress me.
Santa: That's really impressive. Exactly, what do they do?
Banta: They start running.

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Santa: Wives are like police.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Once they get hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you!

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Santa: I asked my wife to chuck me my deodorant from the other side of the room, and she did the most pathetic throw; it didn't even reach me.
"What the hell was that?" I asked.
"Sorry, but it says 'underarm only' on it", she replied.

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The doctor took Santa into the room and said, "Santa ji, I have some good news and some bad news".
Santa: Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess.
Doctor: They're going to name a disease after you.

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Santa: I hate it when my wife asks me to hold her purse.
Banta: What's wrong in it?
Santa: I don't like it when it doesn't match with what I'm wearing.

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Santa: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.
Banta: And did you?
Santa: Yes, Hell he was right, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.

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Banta: What is an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is 18 years old.

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Santa: My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school.
Banta: So how did you do it? Santa: He's a weakling. So I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Jeeto: Why do you ignore my calls?
Santa: I don't ignore your calls. I just love my ringtone.

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Santa was buying the movie tickets again and again.
Banta: Why are you buying the movie tickets again and again?
Santa: Some fool is standing near the door and tearing my tickets.

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Santa: A thief broke into our house last night. He was searching for money.
Banta: What did you do?
Santa: I got up, turned on all the lights and started searching with him!

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Santa: I hate to hear Jeeto struggling with the housework.
Banta: So what do you do about it?
Santa: I just turn up the TV volume.

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Santa: I am fed up of my life.
Banta: Now what happened?
Santa: Everytime I'm about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up!

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